Monday, July 25, 2005

Can life get more meaningful?!

Great... Sub dean told me I should spread my modules over 3 semesters. I knew it. I myself knew it was impossible to cramp all into 2 semesters and do a suicide, like I did a year or two ago. Great.. How am I to explain to my folks? I HATE WHAT I'M DOING!! I HATE ENGINEERING!! I HATE MYSELF!! I HATE EVERYTHING!!

I HATE MY BROTHERS for always putting me down for their sake of sheer happiness... I no longer want to sing, cos they said it was terrible. I no longer want to learn even to play the keyboard, cos they complained that I was repetitive. I started shaving my legs, yes I do, all becos they loved to tell anyone and everyone that I'm a girl with hairy legs. I felt disgusted when they mistaken some gross friend of mine to be my bf, while that time I'm attached to a better guy. I felt stressed when they asked me to invite him over, and he was never free, end up, I flared up at him, I think.

My left parting should be sprayed and fixed in its place forever. I needed it to hide my scar. I HATE MY HAIR for being so soft.. I HATE IT when it falls out of place, making me unknowingly tucked them behind my ear, exposing my scar. I don't understand why people are so interested to see my scar?! There's nothing great about it. IT's NOT COOL TO HAVE A SCAR ON UR FACE!!! IT'S NEVER COOL!! WHY NOT I TRY CUTTING YOUR FACE FOR U?!

Great... I supposedly to be expired in this university, but unfortunately I didn't... But I felt expired and out of place. I don't wish to see any familiar face. Don't say hi to me. Treat me invisible. I had faded away from this society. I really needed to move on... But I'm stuck for 3 more semesters. I felt torturous. I'm never successful in anything I did. I should have dieded during the heart operation.

sugary sweet savouring @ 11:55 PM |



1 Comments:

Post a Comment

<< Home

Get awesome blog templates like this one from BlogSkins.com