Sunday, September 18, 2005

A Special Visit from A Special Guest...

To my surprise, a special guest came to visit our family today. My actual 2nd brother, who had been known to me as my cousin for 10-odd years in my life, finally came to visit us. Speaking of the devil... My bro1, mother and I were still talking about him last weekend. My mum asked if we had kept in contact... I was like.. hmm... Well.. Speaking from the heart.. I had never really acknowledged him as one.. I can't possibly call him er ge.. and call my bro2 san ge... I don't know... I was even thinking... if he probably wouldn't care less about us...

Visiting us on Mid-Autumn Festival probably make this day really special for my mother. I actually had intentions to go shopping or something early afternoon. It was until he called to say he would like to drop by for a visit. My plans changed. My mum would really hope that we, the siblings would mix around, I think.

When he came, my dad had just left for work... I thought my dad would probably wait for him to come, at least to see him a minute or two. Well.. I wondered if my dad had thought of waiting... Or probably he was just simply focused on starting work, and earning more money for this useless spendthrift daughter of his. I could actually feel how happy my mum was.. Though she didn't exceptionally smile alot, nor did she talk alot to him.. I knew, his appearance would simply bring great joy to her.

I used to hate my mum when I found out this truth. I hated her so much, that she lost all the respect I had for her since young. First, I couldn't believe how stupid she was, to listen to my grandma, and let her own flesh call other woman, mum. Next, I couldn't believe how cruel my grandma was, to allow that to happen. Actually, I couldn't even believe that my grandma actually state terms and conditions with my parents, that if the 2nd child would to be a daughter, they would be entitled to keep her to themselves, and if the child would be a son, they would have to let her eldest son and his wife to foster the child. Yes.. I thought this would only happen in soap operas... Little would I think it would happen in my family. I hated my mum for being so stupid, my dad as well. But the hatred was more of my mum, cos afterall, she was the one who brought the child to the world...

Something apart from the drama part... It simply showed the difference between Nature and Nurture. The 3 of us, and him were so different, given the different nuturing environment. I was still in the process of wondering if we were better, having simplier lives... Or probably he had a better life, in terms of achievement in his business... Expnding and expanding... Today expand warehouse, business here and there, overseas... Career achievement versus Family acheivement. He had the career achievement. My 2 other brothers had the latter. How about me? Neither of the two. How interesting. I'm actually the worst of all. *cries*

Now.. if you ask me.. do I still hate her? I don't know. Probably I hate as much as I love her. No matter what, she will still be my mum, right? Life's short.. I would think that comparatively, time for me to be with her would be too little... Why would I want to waste more time concentrating on hating her, rather than knowing her better? Well.. This might not mean that we would have less quarrels, cos afterall, quarrels are our unique way of communication..

sugary sweet savouring @ 11:52 PM |



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