Sunday, January 15, 2006

Silent Saturday...

It was a silent Saturday.
Sun finally started to shine after taking a long leave.


MY DEBIT CARDS

Morning, I went to UOB bank.
Intentions was to activate the 2 replacement debit cards that I had received.
The queue was all the way to the glass door at the entrance.
I had no agenda for the day...
So might as well stay in the queue and listen to my MP3 player instead.

I waited for 30 minutes before I reached the counter.
The lady serving me, said that for replacement cards,
They would be automatically activated, once it was sent out to me.
So, there was no need for me to queue up and do so.

MY DEBIT CARDS WERE READY TO USE SINCE LAST WEEK!

I felt so damn stupid!!


- SILENT SATURDAY -- SILENT SATURDAY -- SILENT SATURDAY -- SILENT SATURDAY -


HOME... ... ... SWEET?? HOME?

Back home..

I realised that ever since my TV broke down, I had lesser topics to talk to my mum.
Last time, I still could discuss the contents for some drama serials with her.
Now, quite sad to say, I see not much topic to be discussed upon.

So, at home on this Saturday,
My mum was quite worried about me.
I was quite expressionless...
And spoke probably no more than 10 or 20 sentences..
My mum was worried and asked if I was sick or I was depressed over some things.
I wanted to rebuke and say,
"Since when I had confided my feelings at home?"

Yes.. Probably I had done it a few times..
But those few times would end up with quarrels or disagreements, whatever.
None of the things that I do, think or feel is correct in my mum's opinion.
Sometimes, confiding only needs a listening ears.
I want no opinions..
Sometimes, confiding is just a way of expressing myself..
When confiding, it is also a chance for myself to hear myself too.
Can't possibly be talking to myself..
People might think I'm mad..
Whatever..

Bottomline is..
My parents, brothers and my relatives are the last people in the world
whom I would find as my confidant.

I probably don't really confide in anyone..
Trust level is quite low..
I guess my character is still strong enough to keep me going...
Strong enough to see myself through my obstacles till now...
I wonder when my willpower will start to wear out?
Feeling weak.. Need to recharge..


- SILENT SATURDAY -- SILENT SATURDAY -- SILENT SATURDAY -- SILENT SATURDAY -


Anyway, I felt like...
I was constantly under a 24-hr surveillance camera whenever I was at home.
It felt quite tiring when home became a place where I had to put on a mask...
I had to be talkative and talk non-stop?
I had to do crazy and funny things?
Or picking up unnecessary quarrels and tiffs with my mum?
Or showing a black face?
Probably these are things that shows that
"Hey Mum! I'm normal! I'm Okay!"
*shrugs*

It's really tiring.
I couldn't show the tired me.
I couldn't keep mum.
I couldn't just don't talk.
I couldn't remain expressionless at home?!
What's wrong, man?
So many "Things Not To Do?!"
It's been 4 years plus that I had to come home every weekend to show face.
Not only show face, but to act like a clown...
And entertain people at home over weekend.
Tired. Tired. Tired.


- SILENT SATURDAY -- SILENT SATURDAY -- SILENT SATURDAY -- SILENT SATURDAY -


DATES? ANYONE?!

What's wrong?
Everyone is busy today!
Why is it that Tuesday there's so many people asking me out at the same time,
while there's none today?!
I'm really puzzled!

Cat going to work for Nokia, outside Sun Yanzi's concert..
Yeomin accompanying FC to Queensway to collect his new spectacles..
Cheryl had to meet up with her friend for CNY clothes shopping after her tuition.
Renate didn't even reply my SMS?!

I'm not going anywhere this Saturday...
I don't think I'll be going anyway on Sunday too... Bored!


- SILENT SATURDAY -- SILENT SATURDAY -- SILENT SATURDAY -- SILENT SATURDAY -


Night Time.. Bed Time...

Been planning for a special sweet dream date...
Instead of chess date with Mr Zhou Gong..
Hmm.. It's hard to control what you dream, isn't it?
I guess I had to daydream abit if sweet dream dates don't happen..
Okay.. Just treat that I'm trying to be crazy again.. haha..

"When we are hungry... Love will keep us alive!"

sugary sweet savouring @ 10:28 AM |



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