Thursday, February 16, 2006

DEPRESSION

Okay!

I NOW OFFICIALLY PRONOUNCE

SUSAN IN THE STATE OF DEPRESSION!



Last night, I went for my GE class.
Today's lesson was indeed boring in his absence.
The guys simply started talking about army..
While I'm just simply stoning.. I guess in my depression mood.
Is not that I don't like army stuff..
Even if you were simply talking about other things..
I'm not going to listen too..
Nothing seemed to get into my ears.


- SUSAN IN STATE OF DEPRESSION -- SUSAN IN STATE OF DEPRESSION -- SUSAN IN STATE OF DEPRESSION -


No ride back hall tonight.
I had to walk back.
Think had been on my feet too much lately..
Especially standing in the 15 to 18 degrees room for the whole day..
My right leg and foot had a great tendency to cramp every now and then..
I merely walked a short distance of 50 m?
I strained the arch muscles of my right foot again..
Limping up the stairs..
I decided to stay at SAO for a while..
Feeling the cool wind...
Seeing the lights from afar...
My emotions.. zero...
What went through my mind?
I have no idea...


My mind just blank out.
I can only hear the sounds of the crickets..
I can only hear the wind whistling...
I can only hear the leaves...
It was quite a cloudy at my area..
Blocking my view of the stars above..
Disappointing...

Looking at steep slope there..
I wonder if I were to slip and fall..
What will become of me?


- SUSAN IN STATE OF DEPRESSION -- SUSAN IN STATE OF DEPRESSION -- SUSAN IN STATE OF DEPRESSION -


Recently, the only thing that I seemed to do unknowingly..
Was just sitting somewhere..
And staring into the space blankly...
Wasting my time...
I probably need a drink?
Seriously.. Do I think drinking will help me get out of depression?
Since when I'm so addicted to drinking?
There's so much energy in me now, that I just want to vent it all out!
So much energy? Why not study?
Out with that man!
I can't think and focus on anything..
I don't know what I want..
I don't know what I can do to help myself.
Don't tell me about forgetting about things, moving on..
Normally, a good night's sleep will be good enough for me to forget the happenings.
Sighz... Seemed like this time round, I needed more than a good night's sleep..



- SUSAN IN STATE OF DEPRESSION -- SUSAN IN STATE OF DEPRESSION -- SUSAN IN STATE OF DEPRESSION -


I feel that I'm such a weakling!
Since when I'm so easily depressed?
I'm behaving damn abnormally..
Just wana slap myself and wake up of it.

I HATE TO BE FEELING WEAK!!!

sugary sweet savouring @ 1:45 PM |



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