Saturday, May 06, 2006

Conscience speaking..

It's just so disturbing and suffocating!!

Right now..

I feel that I'm trapped in a box.
I had always blamed that hey.. cos I'm still stuck in NTU..
Cos.. no money.. Cos.. Parents restricting this and that..
Ultimately.. I should just blame everything on myself!
What happened to me?
Where have all my self-confidence gone?
No determination in anything you do..
There's never anything that you can't do better than someone.
It's all in the mind!
Too much worries about this and that..
Hello?! You are starting to behave like your mum..
You live for yourself, not for anyone else..
I can't probably make everyone happy..
But I must believe in this..
I can make myself happy!
I want to be happy..
I really want to..
First of all, I need to set my mind on stuffs, and go for it..
Sitting and slouching in the couch WON'T HELP!!
When can I get myself out of this!!
It's all up to myself...

Yes.. Probably Yes..
I have split personalities of a few..
I have to really balance them well...
Assume those personalities that make up what Susan really is.
No. Shrink is never a choice.
I believe I'm strong enough to overcome all these by myself.
The weak existence of my self-confidence now..
May let myself confuse or weigh down by the complexities..
But at the back of my mind...
I will never give up, and I will never be defeated!!

Too many posts that's oriented only about me..
My feelings.. my turmoil in my head and heart..
What's wrong with me?!

Did quite a few personality tests over blogthings or something liddat..
Many tests show that I hadn't moved on from my past..
I've also been mentioning too much and repetitively of my past..
Saying it again and again simply won't help me move on..
Breath in and breath out..
Don't ask me about my past..
Just ask me plans for the week ahead..

sugary sweet savouring @ 4:47 PM |



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