Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Have you said this to anyone?

"I LOVE YOU"

Have you said this to anyone?

I was in my 'Blue on the outside, Stained on the inside' Teleport machine, listening to 95FM. I couldn't remember which song, but that song sent me to thinking..

Had I said "I LOVE You" to anyone before?

Never need to pose this question to Lonewolf, cos he definitely had said it many times to his closest relatives and probably his ex-gf.. Growing up in a family that teaches through LOVE, is making me envious in a way or two, though my family upbringing still has one or two points to be commendable about.

Anyway, it got me deep in thoughts.. So deep that I spent the last 10-15 minutes of the journey stoning, and thinking.. In my memories, as far as I remember.. The answer is NO. Or none that is from the bottom of the heart. Those that are not from the bottom of the heart, are not because I'm not speaking of the truth or what.. It's upon request from probably guys in the past.. Or something.. I don't even remember if I had done so..


Does that mean that I never LOVED before?



What's LOVE?

Something that I realized, I never learned at all in my past 20 odd years.


When you realized the guy that you liked, had someone in his heart before you..
You thought stepping out of the affairs is good for the 3.
1 person feels heart-broken better than 3 persons feel heart broken.
Is this an act of LOVE, cos you think he will be happy with her?
Or is this an act of cowardice?
Scared of being cheated by delusions of LOVE again?

Years past..
They indeed got together..
But due to religion, they broke up..
Sorry, but what I can say is that we are impossible.

Life is always changing for me.
When someone's path crosses mine..
If we don't move on in the same direction..
It's hard to relight any spark after we meet again in time to come..
And probably.. There wasn't LOVE in the first place?


I had came across such situations time and time again..
I had always been backing out..
Will there be time that I will stop backing out and chase for my own happiness?
As for now, no.
In future, it depends..



LOVE is not sympathy..
Don't sympathize me cos my past.
If I ever confide dark secrets of mine to you..
I am just letting you to know more about me..
Letting you know why I am who I am now..
Understand what I've gone through..

A friend of mine, used to be close friend..
Not a good friend cos she's forever draining my energy..
She ever said that dark secrets of her would be hidden from her guy forever..
She said that some dark secrets would be forever not accepted by all guys..

I beg to differ.
I believe that in relationships, flaws and history should be shared and accepted.
If not..
A clumsy person like me, who will always get myself in new trouble..
If you can't accept me for who I was, and for who I am now..
The road to eternity is mostly likely forever rocky and never smooth..



Many people thought I'm a LOVE expert.

Why?
No. Don't ask me about BGR problems.
LOVE experts can only be considered as one..
When they themselves are successfully in LOVE..

I'm thorough failure in LOVE..



Dare to LOVE, dare to hate..
I used to be that.
You might think, when people age, people tends to mellow down..
Less adventurous than before..

For me, it's just the words "I've lost faith in you"
That caused confidence level plunged...
It felt like the whole sky had came down crushing on me..
Soon after.. I saw LOVE is easily transferable to another one..
I lost faith in LOVE eventually.

In a family that don't speak of LOVE..
All my life since 15, I had been searching..
What's true LOVE?
Does true LOVE exist in the first place?



LOVE is the most important element
that is lacking in my life

I need to LOVE my life. Treasure it.
If I don't LOVE myself, who will ever LOVE me?

LOVE is such a strong and powerful word..
Never undermine what LOVE can do..
It can let you push against the limits..
Do things that a way off your abilities..



LOVE is a word that I LOVE and hate.

LOVE is from the bottom of the heart..

LOVE is what I had been consistently searching for, but in vain..

LOVE is a module, that I hadn’t been doing well in right from the start of my life..


LOVE.. I wonder where and when I can find LOVE..


sugary sweet savouring @ 6:45 PM |



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