Saturday, June 17, 2006

Did you call me??

Yesterday, after I came back from Harbourfront, cos I brought my Canon digicam to service.

My mum told me that there's a guy who called and looked for Hui Hui...

Oh dear.. Was it him?!

Someone who disappeared since 2001...
Had he disappeared to overseas for some medicine studies or what?


Who is him?

My crush when I was in secondary...
Do you still call a crush, crush, when actually, feelings got reciprocated?
But he always contacted me at the wrong timing, when I was attached..
Anyway, I never had the courage to accept him...
Cos I liked him so much...
And to know he liked me too, was like a dream come true..
To even think to have a chance to be with him, was like a fairy tale...

But I never believed the existence of fairy tale..
I was worried that starting a relationship at such young age, won't last...
I so didn't want to start it...
I always thought it should be puppy love..
Such love will not last..
Not that I have no confidence in him, but I have no confidence in myself when it comes to feelings when I was young...
Cos I believed friends can be forever, BF & GF.. no guarantee...
You can probably say, I liked him so much, that I didn't wish to lose him..


It's been years....

Do I miss him?
Yes, I do...

We had always been contacting each other over ICQ..
Whenever it's his birthday, I would even page him, and leave a voicemail..
See.. I quite dare to love, dare to hate type, just that don't dare to love him..
Lack of that bit of courage probably...
I did many dry runs before dialing the pager number..
I don't think I would ever leave any voicemail to anyone saying something like that...
"Hi! I'm Hui Hui..
If I'm not wrong, today's your birthday..
Just want to wish you happy birthday,
and may all wishes come true...
Bye!"
Come to think of it.. I must have liked him alot alot...

Till 2001, emails get bounced, hp no longer in use...
He seemed to have evaporated...
His disappearance made my heart feel empty for a while...
Sometimes, it's really hard to know if he's the cause of the emptiness...
Or was it the relationship that turned sour then, that caused the emptiness...
Well.. It's the past already huh...


So, how we met?

We were coursemates in a course outside..
My class had only 3 guys loh...
So pathetic...
How to fulfill the boy-hunger in me? tsk tsk.. Joking lah!

After the course ended, the group only had 2 outings..
1st was to ECP - 25 November 1996, Secondary 2..

The second outing was also the last time I saw him...
Secondary 3 - ?? December 1997
It was a group outing...
We went Sentosa, then Orchard, then Queenstown and stay over a girl friend's place.

I remembered the scenes quite vividly..
We sat the Pirate Ship at Asian Civilisation..
Someone in the group actually say...
"Let's see who can go the most number of times...
And yet, cannot scream, cannot puke, can't even have those terrible expression."
It was my first time taking pirate ship..
End up, the numbers in the group decreased..
We were the surviving two...
Two of us.. Sitting next to each other...
We didn't talk much...
Just simply enjoyed the moments together quietly...
Time seemed to have paused for us whenever we are in the mid air.....
It's a weird feeling...
But it's an unforgettable feeling..


Was quite disappointed that my mum didn't ask who he is...
In my memory..
The only guy..
Perhaps the only person who will call my house number to look for Hui Hui..
I can't think of others, but him...
Please.. If it's him.. Please call again...
I really do hope to see him again...
At least, to see how is him now, doing well or not?
Please don't just vanish like that...


I had ever thought..
Maybe in future, he would appear in front of me..
With his wife and probably kids?
How will I feel then?
How imaginative huh?!

sugary sweet savouring @ 12:10 AM |



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