Friday, July 07, 2006

Sorting & Packing up..

Probably I should have moved room looong time ago..

I'm finally forced to pack up..
Got to leave this room of 4 years..
Grown attached to it?!
Not really..
More of.. there's alot of memories in this room..
Tears, laughters, and fragrance of the yummy kitchen in operations..
I do pack my room..
I usually end up packing, but not sorting..
That's why all things of different nature are packed together and labelled junkie.

It seemed to be the case to feelings, I realised..
It's usually easy for me to pack up my feelings and move on after any unhappy stuffs..
But it will be long after, before I start to sort out my feelings..

Thrown..
Is the colourful paper frog, painted by highlighter, and folded using a pink slip of paper..
For there's only lust and not love between us now...
That's a great pity...

Thrown..
Is the loose and lousy and ugly looking black beaded bracelet..
For he is a married man now...
He's the one of the last people I thot would get married so early...

Thrown..
Is the green hp pouch..
For he gave me nightmares since the break-up...
I'm glad that I had broke up..

Unthrown..
Is my 19th birthday card...
And along the 19th birthday card..
Was 2 other cards, for his 23rd, 24th birthday..
Both are blank..
Cos at the point of time, either there was too many things to write..
Or I just couldn't write anything, cos I won't have the guts to send out the card..
End up 23rd, 24th, 25th, 26th birthdays.. I merely sent a SMS..
Nothing more... Nothing less...
27th birthday.. I probably will forget, cos last year, I only remembered at the last hour.


How did you appear to be nonchalent about relationships?
Apply techniques to harden up and be cold to my feelings...
It is to save myself from being heartbroken, easier to pick myself up and move on...

Most of the friends who know me in JC would feel that I had changed alot..
I changed alot after JC....
I still remembered the first few meet ups with Leo a year or two after JC...
He, being the emotional him..
Me, on the other hand, became really cold and unfeeling towards some stuffs..
It's not me.. It's just that, someone have to melt the cold...

To love someone thoroughly and without any confirmation that the love is reciprocated,
Requires alot of courage...


Packing up, sorting up....
Susan.. I didn't know that you are quite a sentimental creature...
In other words, if I don't start throwing some of the memories.. I mean junkies..
There's no room for others...!



Off topic..
Today in lab..
I met Amara, the other FYP student under my FYP sup.
She asked me, "Hi, you are Sharon, right?"
Again, my tone changed and said.. "Susan.."
Then she apologised for the mistake..
Then I said.. "Nah.. It's okay.. Most people likes to call me Sharon when they forget my name"

SHARON?!

PEOPLE!!! WHAT'S UP WITH THE SHARON NAME AND ME?!

I'M SUSAN!!!!

REPEAT AFTER ME!

S-U-S-A-N!

SUSAN!!!

sugary sweet savouring @ 3:15 AM |



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