Thursday, August 24, 2006

Infidelity...

This post all originates from one simple question I was asked on Tuesday late afternoon.
Was I with any other guys when I was with someone?

Definition:

INFIDELITY // [in-fi-del-i-tee] -noun, plural -ties.
1. marital disloyalty; adultery.
2. unfaithfulness; disloyalty (to a sexual partner, especially a spouse).
3. lack of religious faith, esp. Christian faith.
4. a breach of trust or a disloyal act; transgression.



Infidelity...

I have a very weird viewpoint about infidelity...

Most people are intolerant of infidelity of their partners...
In fact, it should be all?
It's in human that once they possessed something...
They are intolerant of sharing their possession with others...
Especially the precious possession...

On the other hand..
Some people stray from their possessions...
And hence, allowing double standards...
That is, intolerant of other's infidelity but allowing him/herself to commit one...



For me....

I'm also allow double standards...
But it's a weird style of double standards...
It's quite a total opposite...


Given a person, that is "not yet settling down kind" of situation...
I'm totally tolerant of infidelity...
Cos if you don't go around and see the world..
Or should I say, see the different guys/girls at this age..
When can you?!
If you don't get to know/date more people...
How are you so sure that you've met a right one...?
How can you be so sure that you won't stray anymore?
For many of these people...
I always believe that, when they decide to settle down with someone..
It will be forever.. and totally blessed....
So, if there's the "not yet settling down" ones..
Infidelity is totally tolerable, for me...


Well..
As for the infidelities that come after a marriage..
I have not thought through it totally...
It's something I dare not think of..
Something that no one would even want to experience in life...

Will I ever forgive an infidelity after marriage?
It all depends...
Depends on how much lies was told to hide this infidelity...
Depends on what actually might have caused this infidelity...
Depends on the spouse, whether he really wants to give this marriage up..
Depends if there's kids involved...
It all depends....

Infidelity hurts and disappoints all in a family...
However....
Though infidelity is a blemish.. a black mark...
Given time as a medicine, to heal the wounds...
The family might become more bonded than before...
Cos maybe the root of problem, that results in straying away was solved?
The forgiving parties, by giving a second chance...
The other spouse, after knowing how his/her grave mistake...
May appreciate the second chance more..
And not allowing him/herself to commit the same mistake again...
So it all depends...
Well.. all that I had said was just looking at the brighter side of things...
You all know the dark side..
I don't think there's a need for me to mention about dark side...


Okay..
After saying so much..
You probably understand why I say my opinion over infidelity is abit weird..
Not totally weird, but abit only...
That's no double standards?!

So far, I've only commenting....
IF the other party commits infidelity....

Here's the other side of the double standards....

I am intolerant of myself being infidelity..
It's weird..
I have higher standards for myself than I have for others....
I am intolerant of myself to commit infidelity..

When I set my eyes on someone...
I will not go for someone else...
Even if there's someone else who wish to go after me...
It's a straight no from me...
Rather than accepting the chase,
Then go and tell the someone to get hold of me, before I'm gone...


In my case...
Most of the time, I will be there no matter what..
I will only be gone, if the someone cleanly cut things up....
And guess what?? I will be gone forever...
The most is to resume as a hi-bye friend...
Cos sad to say, that's my way of me not reminding myself of the liking...

I am intolerant of myself...
If I am to resume my past flings or to start any when I like someone..
I am a sucker for loyalty...

If I going to commit any infidelity...
I mean when I'm interested in someone, I go hanky panky with someone else..
I will feel damn guilty and bad... and disappointed with myself..
Let alone when I am in a relationship...
I'm good at lies, saying lies without blinking my eyes...
But.. I'm a totally bad liar to people I like...
It's just so hard to say lies to them...
It's just so hard...


I'm so sorry to let you all read through such a long story..
To see my point..
My weird viewpoint towards infidelity..
That is...
I'm tolerant of guys being infidelity before settling
down...
But I'm intolerant of myself being infidelity even at
the stage of liking..
High standards of myself but having big capacity for
others..


The fun thing about this entry...
Many might just start to guess..
So.. Has someone around Susan's life or has Susan herself commited infidelity?
Well.. Believe it or not...
It's just a topic that I found it interesting to think through...
And I found that I had a very weird viewpoint...
That's why I wanted to share to all...


"Infidelity.. That's a very dangerous word!"
-quoted from Jossie over MSN

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