Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Random thoughts.......... Samsoon again..

woke up at 4+, 5 this morning, cos of nightmare.
Nightmare, not of horror, but of distress..
And tears couldn't diminish the intense feelings upon waking up..
It took me, probably till 6+, 7, then weariness set in and put me to sleep again..
Probably I'm not strong after all..
Just like anything with fractured lines..
No matter how much job had been done to repair the line..
The fractured lines had since become more vulnerable than it used to be.

Take it as I'm PMS-ing.
I had freaking tonnes of work to do at home.
Yesterday, luckily I had forseen things to be quite hanging up in the air..
I cancelled my driving lesson scheduled at 2 plus.
Cos I don't forsee the schedule of G's place, lunch, Arab St, Music Clef, to be smooth..
And having to travel along Marymount road, heading towards Bugis twice a day within hrs..
Don't really quite like it..
Headache. Oh well, it's better off than rushing down to driving from Arab St..
And then back to Music Clef...
Disgusting.

I don't have much time at home now till CNY.
There seemed like tonnes of things to do..
Especially on CNY goodies..
I kinda missed that time,
When Yeomin, Cat, Chunky, Yousheng & Jason crazily went down to Chinatown a few yrs ago..
All dressed in the orangey Hall 13 singlets.. marching along the streets of Chinatown..
I enjoy the crowd..
I enjoy everything about CNY..
Just that, I don't feel it as much as before.
At home, there was never so much of CNY feeling..
Other than me, being converted to production workers for hae bee hiang..
And in 2005's CNY, my grandma passed away..
CNY had never left much of impression.

Sec 3 and Sec 4 were the best CNYs that I had experience..
Going house visiting at friends' house and gathering to gamble..
Those were the days...

I wonder if this CNY would be different...
Would I be joining any friends with their CNY celebrations?
Or would I.. as usual, rot at home... and blog like no one's business...



I wanted to go overseas again...


If you had watched Samsoon, maybe you'll remember this part..

In the hotel room in Jeju...
HE admitted that HE's jealous, and don't feel good when Samsoon talked to other guys...
HE even told Samsoon that he wished to conquer some mountain Hanna with her..
Just the two of them...
That very day, HE got acquainted with his ex..
She even stayed with HIM for many days.. cos then.. HE realised she was very sick.
HE disappeared for days, and Samsoon got worried.
Samsoon thought HE was sick instead, prepared porridge and brought to his doorstep.
As HE opened the door, his ex appeared behind HIM.

That scene..
If I were Samsoon..
I will be like HER.. Lost, confused, despaired, upset, heartbroken..
Yet, still very concerned about HIM, passing HIM the porridge before SHE left.
When the door closed before HER, I guess a gush of anger overwhelmed HER..
SHE pressed the doorbell again..
This time, giving HIM a kick on his shin, before walking away.

HE followed HER into the lift.
HE said, "I want to be together with Xi Zhen (his ex)"
SHE said, "Yes, I could see that."

After talking about their so-called love contract being called off..
And there's no need for HER to return him the 5 million won anymore..

This time, SHE couldn't hold back her tears anymore..
SHE gave HIM a tight slap.
And asked,
Then why in the first place, admit that you're jealous and stuffs..?
So, probably you were just anyhow saying it.. Didn't mean it..

She added,
Do you know saying that you wana go Mount Hanna with me means what?
I guess you really didn't know what that really means (to a girl)..
It means actually you like me very much...
Do you know that?
You shouldn't have given me such a promise in the first place, do you know that?
Why do you want to confuse me? WHY?!


It's a great feeling that.. some day, some guy expresses interest, to achieve something..
Just the two of you..
To many girls.. It's total happiness..

Well.. what's the point of me taking this part of the scene out?
I don't know. I just thought of this scene of the episode 8, out of the blue..
I want to be like Samsoon, so strong and her perseverance in relationship..
But I had failed to be like her in the many cases I faced in the early years of 2000.
I rather give up to the other girl..
Cos I'm someone not worth remembering, not worth, to sacrifice another girl for..
Just not worth it..

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