Sunday, April 22, 2007

My Family - Having that Big Heart....

Sunday.
Usually, the family day.

Previously I said, I didn't liked weekday evenings at home.
Cos of the unneccessary selfish/rude acts upon each other in the family.

Weekends. This house is like dead town.
Can I say I hate to stay in the house during weekends too?
I probably don't understand why people loves to go out on weekends..
When the whole street is just so congested with human crowds!
Usually, I will want to stay at home during weekends...
Partly to avoid crowds..
Partly cos I felt that I can't leave my mum home alone.


She's ageing so fast...
Becoming very forgetful, about this and that..
Having back problems cos of old age, babysitting, and household chores.
Aching foot that she sprained during last CNY...
High blood pressure...
What else?
Maybe many things that I wasn't informed of, cos I'm the youngest.
It feels shit, when that time, I accompanied her to her check-ups...
The doctor at stupid SGH, refused to talk to me..
And had to call my bro2 instead.

My mum...
It's like a love-hate relationship too..
But no matter what happen..
No matter what quarrels we had...
Even if things remain unresolved...
Even if there's still the 'unhappy' areas lying around...
She's still my mum...

Nothing can change the fact.
No matter how rigid she is, how backward she is, how ignorant she is...
She's still my mum afterall...

She is the one, who cycle me to school everyday from Primary 4 to 6.
My ex-teachers, now, recognise me as...
"Oh! Your mum used to cycle you to school everyday!"
When I was that young...
I was pretty upset by the fact that my acquaintance in school mistook my mum as granny.
Just don't understand why.. but upset...

Watching and catching stories of drama serials is like a homework to me..
Homework to the module 'Mum's Communication'....
Many a times.. she just couldn't catch, if there's little twist in stories...
Worse still, when the stories go to and fro, the past, present and future.
She'll be totally lost.
For simple story lines, she will just fall asleep... cos too tired..
The only drama serials she could catch up with, are those slow Taiwan shows...
Very slow paced, not complicated, and very clear cut...
Those that, even though you missed 30 episodes...
The show might featured a few days' stuffs.... Haha..



My dad...
He's even older...
There's different sides of him..
I got to know him better ever since my baby nephew was borned..
Finally after so many years, there was a father-daughter bonding session..
Cos no one else is at home then...

He's a thinker, I feel...
Even though he's like the joker in all family events...
Disturb all the young kids, cos all of them are just scared of him..
Probably he's too tanned or black for their likings.. lolx
He loves to make fun of all stupid situations..
Like that time, the steamboat broke down...
He was overjoyed, and planning what other steamboat he should get next...
Well.. the atmosphere was tense, cos some ppl didn't inherit that jovial side of my dad...
Took things too seriously, and adding stress to everyone..

When he was young...
He would probably be known as Ah Beng, in the current era...

Knowing how my parents got together, was even more funny...
It all was a mistake.
My mum's relative recommended my dad's eldest bro, rather than my dad himself..
Somehow or rather... In between got mixed up..
Don't know which Ng brother at the Ng's mama shop.. hehe
So end up, my dad was arranged to meet my mum instead...
And a mistake then... a blissful marriage now...

I had hardly seen my parents quarrel...
Or should I even say... I hardly see my dad around...
When I was young, he had this construction company...
Morning, doing his construction works..
Back home by noon or 1pm..
Then off he goes, at 3pm for taxi, till late night...
If I was attending afternoon session, I probably wouldn't see him for that year...

My dad's superb...
Single-handedly gave us all education from young till we all graduate from NTU....
He and my mum have brought up 2 fine sons, and an ok-ok daughter...
We never had to worry about money.
And even after we graduate, we never have to worry about paying student loans...
Cos we never had to loan....
My parents were both wonderful at finance department...
I wonder how they do it? But they paid for our studies in cold hard cash...
Probably I know half half, about the money.. haha..
Well.. Not going to share over here...
Only.... 1 other person knows about it.. Tsk tsk...
This other person probably thinks my dad, quite wow!!

My dad is a heavy smoker... a good drinker...
We can never ask him to quit either...
Cos in this sucky traditional family...
The younger ones have no rights to talk back or teach the older ones what to do!!
No matter what happens...
In any confrontation of anything...
Me, the youngest one, always have to lose out!
Talking about rights?
Girl & Youngest in my family = Have to listen to them..
What's rights to me?! Duhz!


What's keeping this family together?
Tolerance.
If you were unhappy about some stuffs...
And unresolved even though you've talked things out...
Then you just have to bear with it...
And understanding it...
Will help you deal with it in a different light when the problem arises again in future..

As for choosing the other halves...
It's very obvious...
My parents won't bother about the choice...
No matter how unhappy/happy they are..
But they will respect the choice, and accept the choice...
Everyone in the house does so...
Understanding how each other works, will improve one's tolerance towards certain matters...
Of cos, when they are happy about the choice...
You will know, cos you'll hear praises, and good relations with my bro's other half...





Characters are things you can't change overnight, or something you can never change...
So, to survive through these things forever...
You just have to understand that, some things, your parents will never understand...
And you will probably never understand why they felt that way...
Most parents, will always deem their children the best, and the most precious...
They want the best for their children too...

Hence, you can't fault them for being angry at certain things...
Cos they want the best for their children too..
Not all things can be resolved...
Sometimes, just put yourselves in their shoes, assuming their characters...
Don't use your character to judge..
You have to assume their characters, their way of thinking..
Soon... You'll understand why they reacted in some ways..
And forgive them for not thinking in your way...
Erm.. nothing to forgive also, cos there's never a right or wrong in how people thinks..
No matter what happens..
A family is still a family...
Who you are, and what you are...
It's all thanks to those people you call your family... and probably friends as well...
No matter how good they treat you, how bad they treat you...
Or even if they abandon you...
You still can't deny that they are part of the molds that molded you to who you are today...

There's nothing much to love about in this family.
Nothing much doesn't mean nothing.
Understanding, tolerating one another, may not be the best solutions..
In this family, it's about having that big heart...
It's something to love about, and to be proud of....



Ok.. I'm losing myself in this entry...
Not too sure what I'm talking about already...

Today.. I'm going to be left alone at home!!!
Damn stupid stingy Fullerton Hotel!!!
They only allow food tasting for 8 people!!!!
Last time my bro1's wedding at Copthorne Waterfront allowed 10, okayz!!!

Whatever...
The attendance list will be...
My parents, my bro1 & wife, bro2 & Claire, and Claire's parents.
EVEN my nephew Bin Bin is going lor!!!!!!
So exasperating!!!!



Gonna eat grass tonight...
Think I'm probably suffering from some eating disorder lately..
And thus the tummy ache.. no no.. probably it's gastric pain in late nights...
The pain was so intense, that it made me cringe in torture...
Just remove my stomach, and other food processing organs...
I can survive on air.. and probably a little bit of water..

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