Physically Weak...

From morning till now..
Sick.. Feeling really sick..

Breakfast, I shouldn't have forced the whole donut into my throat...
It gave me a very sick feeling.
Trying to finish my fave milo was also a terrible chore...

Lunch, very dry fried rice by my mum..
VERY DRY...
I just took a few scoops, and that's it..
Think if I had taken more scoops, I will die of indigestion...

But not long after.. my stomach started grumbling..
I just chose to ignore...

From after lunch to dinner..
No updates. Just take it as I had disappeared.

Dinner was super late.. 9.30pm..
McSpicy meal...
A very big mistake to have McSpicy with curry sauce...
I just forgot that my weak stomach can't take that spicyness, especially after a long period of hunger..


Now...
It's a torturous feeling.
A mixture of nauseous, gastric, churning...
Can I just go and puke?!
I think it should make me feel better..

Maybe..
After the next 1 or 2 weeks, I may have recovered from such problems..
Postponing start work date..
Reason I gave.. To settle the unsettled matters...
Like... taking my stomach out to wash and letting it recover...?
And.. having the very last of Yummy Kitchen..
Though I might not have appetite..


Taking advices.. I should rest more..
I just have to postpone the start of my work...
Got to get some things back on track.. back to normal again..
Physically, feeling very weak...
This weak feeling.. once in a lifetime.. Never to happen again...
No more... Never ever gonna let myself experience this feeling anymore..
My appetite.. has been poor... even if I eat lots.. I suffer lots after that..
Amnesia.. When can I start to sleep better again??
I hate this weak feeling.. never feel so weak before...
But these problems really shouldn't and won't last long...


Many times, I just write open ended things..
Hanging many things in the air..
Ambiguous meanings in my blog...
Cos sometimes, entries are for my reference...
And if you don't know the story... you won't know the story..
And probably no one knows the story except myself...
No one will know what my real underlying meaning is...
Some words are just misleading, and some words, just redundant...
Some are truths, but seemed too unbelievable to be truths...
Some posts, are to see reactions...
And seems like some things, if wasn't intentionally mentioned in my entries..
Some people might not even remember and see it as a worry....

Well...
It doesn't bother me at all, how you gonna interpret my story.
Doesn't bother me at all, if anything makes sense to you...
Nothing's gonna bother me any longer..
Nothing of this matter can bother me already...


Whatever happens..
The life is mine.
It's all been decided and done...
Everything that ought to be put to an end, had already been put to an end...
Like.. Stepping down from alumni exco finally and other stuffs...
Worries and precautions... useless now...
Cos I am someone who execute plans before anyone knows, or thinks of it..
Someone who will remove all things that hinder me, before moving on in life...

From now on...
Everything's sealed and buried.. R.I.P.
Last week, should just mark the end...
I should just lock that part of memory and blank it, and not remind of it..



This week ought to be a new beginning..
But I guess it's better to start a new beginning, without feeling so weak..
So this week.. I should have a good rest..
A good, strong health will return pretty soon...

Secrets remained secrets. Truths hurt.
All are sealed. Truth will never be spoken of.
Damn me if need to. Truth will still never be spoken of.
Nothing should change how things are today.
Nothing should change any decision.
Nothing can change whatever that's already history.



A new life, a new beginning, starts... this May.

Labels: Emotions, Insomnia, Sick, Upset