Overloaded. I'm dying. I'm exploding.

So frustrated.
For the past few weeks, or months..
I've been going out almost everyday after work.

I have a reason to do so.
It's all in my plan.
I know that this week onwards, I'll be crazily busy.
Especially this week, when it's my colleague's last week of work.
And I need to assist her in many things. No. Assist myself as well.
Cos if things cock up. I'm in for deep shit next week.

I thought all is good.
Thought this week I had it all planned.
What I can say.
Since last two weeks, the work is just gradually adding stress.
Till I really physically felt it this Monday.
Monday. Came back. Die Die also have to go run.
Tuesday. Mid-Autumn Festival. I OT-ed.
It's so upsetting to come back at 8.30pm.
No appetite to eat, but a slice or two of the mooncake. No. No dinner.


I don't wish to go on.
This week, I rarely had time to sit at my desk. No time to do paperwork.
Stressed, and late night sleeps are making me goggy.
End of week, then I realised, it wasn't that I can't cope.
It was just the brain isn't working at maximum capacity.
So disappointing that things got out of hand when job piled down.
So disappointed with my own performance.
I could have done better. I really could have.
Haiz. This week is so disappointing at work.
It passed in a breeze.

I guess I don't like last minute changes to my plans and appointments...
Cos I'm someone who cannot work without ample rest.
If I knew Wed and Thurs are late nights...
I would be good and sleep early for Monday and Tuesday.
Maybe next time I should think before agreeing to changes.
Or maybe at the point of time of agreement, it was acceptance of a reason, a family reason?

I'm screwed up in my personal life schedule.
Damn screwed up this week.
So much so that I'm so forever tensed up throughout the week.
I couldn't really relax and enjoy a nice dinner at all this week....
Oh wait. Other than yesterday.. did I have dinner at all?
Monday... only fishing of food, or no dinner...
Tuesday.. Mooncakes - 2 slices.
Wednesday.. Colleague's farewell dinner at sucky sakura. I didn't eat much. But super bloated.
Thursday.. Dinner at 11? 12? just the bak kut teh without rice.
Friday NYDC Farmboy salad again at 7+, 8...

Quite upsetting..
I'm just so tired.. so tired now..
Never felt so tired before..
Maybe plus stress..
And maybe quality time spent at the expense of adding more 'tired' flavour..
I even felt I should just dive into bed on Thursday, if my phone didn't ring after 9.
And my colleague that quitted even best..
Final day, still have a big pile of things not handed over.
Like all the things in a mess.
I really have no confident in taking over.
And it's at the expense of my other projects..
I couldn't sit down and think properly what to do, when I received other project's mails...

I missed my bed this week.
But I never get to enjoy it whenever I'm in it.
Waking up after two hours or three, thinking it's 6am, and time to go for work?
It's like an everyday affair. It's killing me...
Now I'm having muscles ache along my shoulder blade..
And a very very stiff neck..
So stiff that you can break by just moving it left and right.


Screwed up life. Disappointing performance at work. Stressed up sleep.
I suddenly felt so weak this week.
Everything's so out of hand.
Work, emotion, life, blah blah... out of hand.
So disappointed in the out-of-hand situation.
So frustrated with myself.
I feel like crying.
Or maybe I should say.. I'm already tearing..

I told Wenting, I should abstain from 'life'...
I really should.
I should abstain from 'life' till...
I don't know... But next few weeks is just crazy..
With weekends packed as well..
I won't have anytime to rest.
Throw me to somewhere I no need to work, and no need to have a life.
I just want to be able to sleep without aching and not jumping out too early, wanting to work..

A weekend. FINALLY.
At this beginning of the day...
I hate to be at home.
Everyone is pestering me to go queue and buy that carpark thingy..
You know, the new policy for paying for 2 slots, 2nd slot 50% off, or something.
I feel like screaming now...
I'm SOOOOOOO TIREDDDDDD......

I think I'm in need of hugs.

Labels: Emotions, Not Happy, Random thoughts, Rantings, Upset, Work