Wondering..

I'm still wondering..

Is that part of me a split personality of mine..
Or is it cos it's not a desirable personality to my opinion..
Hence I'm denial against that personality..

So.. the question is split personality? or really part of me?


That personality had drained out..?
Or maybe I pulled myself to be focus at work once again..
Over the weekend, I somewhat felt disappointed in not reaching my own benchmark for work..
That's why I leave no chance for the other personality to appear..
To drain my energy..

Whole of last week, it was like a.. at least 2-3am sleep.. and waking up at 6..
The best thing is.. I'm not exactly zombified at work..
Neither do I feel extremely tired at night..
The energy level remains a straight line at that average level....
That shouldn't be the case..
I should have more energy at certain times and lesser on others..

Even my colleagues said now I'm more normal..
Cos my crazy laughters and no-link but yet want-to-win debates is back with a revenge..
Last week.. most of the time I was..
erh.. I don't know how to react..
erh.. I have no energy to react..
erh.. Just don't talk to me lah.. Don't kar-chiau, expecting my crazy reactions..
Now.. I was even talking back to my boss until he say.. "Ok.. My fault my fault.."
Make me feel so bad to make him think that way..


OMG!!
I'm back to talking about my work and my boss again..
Later people don't know, thought I like my 51-yr-old boss some more.. haha
Erh.. I not only like him.. I love him.. cos he's like a daddy..
Yes occassional thunder and showers.. but generally a very nice gentleman..


Oh well..
About personality thingy..
Whether or not if it's a split.. or it's just the dark side of me..
I know what was the cause of it..
I know what went wrong..
It all happened like.. 10 years or more ago..
And another thing that happened 5 or more years ago, that caused another change in me..
There are people who say.. your palmistry will change every 5 years..
It seems to me..
Coincidently.. every 5 years, there's always major change of direction in my life..
For now.. it's work and travel.. hopefully is travel while work lor.. hehe..

Labels: Random thoughts, Work