A day to mark the 25th year of my existence...

Dearest all,

A big thank you to all who had SMSed me for a Happy Birthday.
Apparently those are the only things that made the little smiles I had on my face..
I guessed when work became this crazily busy..
My smile had been taken away..
I felt as though I hadn't been smiling happily since don't know when..
Smiling from within the heart..
Even now.. smiling felt tiresome..
Maybe I've forgotten how to smile out of the sudden?
Maybe this.. Maybe that.. Maybe...



I have like 8 - 10 missed calls for work-related things early this morning.
And my kuku customer.. I sent in the parts on 2 Fridays ago, personally to his hands,
Now he told my colleague say...
Last Friday, someone sneak in when he's away, and hand him the parcel..
PLEASE BE REASONABLE!!!
And Think you are the one who need Gingko Nuts!! Crazy!!!


ARGHHHHHHHHHHH


Oh.. My hairdresser decided to be on leave on the same day as me! Woah!
Damn it.. No haircut. Gonna do it.. this Saturday instead.. ARGHH


My HDD isn't responding. CRIES.... Heartache..


I was happy smiley at 9 plus when I see the sunny sun..
But right after breakfast..
My heart just dropped..
And soon after rain came..
There goes my swimming on a sunny day...


Flashing back..
The past year wasn't that a pleasant one..
Convocation was an event much look forward to, yet lost the meaning..
It's been quite a trashy 24th year of mine...
So much so that I lost any feeling about the 25th's arrival..
Totally numbed.. Totally numbed..

Now I feel so much like before.. Like those days I became anti-social..
Totally can't be bothered anyone, anything around me..
Just me, myself, alone..
Alone but not lonely..
A sign of me, feng1 bi4 myself.. sealed myself in my own world..
Yeap.. It's a feeling that I'm sealing myself up again..
Good news or bad? Tell me, what's good and what's bad?
Who is there to judge...?
Maybe you all loved the bubbly happy susan?
But.. but...
Like the Yvaine in Stardust..
The energy in me to glow with happiness and laughters around me is dwindling..
I suddenly felt no energy to glow at all.. Drained.


Birthday.. Birthday..
Who says Birthday needs to be planned..
Who says take leave must have programmes?
Who says this and that..
I should just go out to enjoy myself today. Soon..
I feel like going to catch musical fountain..
But the desire isn't that great to bring myself there...
Whatever.. Maybe I should go catch a show alone for the first time..
Say so much... Knowing myself for so many years..
I know I won't do anything.. Freak..


I plan to be out by 12 noon. But I guess it will be around 12.30 to 1pm..

No plans today. If anyone wants to meet me, just call me..
I might not even entertain SMSes..

Regards,
Susie

Labels: Birthdays, Not Happy