Feeling blissful. "Wo shi xin fu de"

This song is ringing in my head...

"Wo shi xin fu de" - by Fish Leong. Liang Jing Ru


Recently I told Yeomin..
I forgot what topic we were...
But definitely talking about guys..
And came up with this sentence, out of the blue..

The guy have to like the girl more than himself, yet not to the extent to become sticky.



Love at first sight, fairy tale lovey story, love marathon...
I believe in all these stories..
Just that I don't believe fairy tales will just happen on me..
I don't believe I would have such luck..
Probably cos such disbelief.. it had made me miss chance once.. twice..


Ever since the surgery and the pain..
It made me wonder if it's worth holding on to certain things..
Well, it's not about worth or not..
It's about my needs?
My needs when I was a patient..
It's a magical thing..
Only certain people are entitled to little magic to certain people..


On one side..
The side where my heart lies..
Though I often, or almost all the while felt neglected and stuffs...
What I can say..
I wonder if my heart is beating...
Or has it almost stopped beating with hopes....
Or maybe it should just stop trying to beat, when it hurts at each beat..
It's a total uncomfy feeling when there's a part of me is like dead..
Maybe one shouldn't succumb to selective memory..
To totally forgot the painful history, and living in a blank..
Forgetting the pain, and hence proceeding towards the pain, yet again..?
Selective memory.
Did my brain really have that powers to do so..
Where I can't even recall many things..



Well.. Not to say things that I can't even explain anymore...

But yah..
The thing that caused me to blog today...
I felt happy...
I felt... Wo shi xin fu de...
Yes.. Easily contented, you might say..


Although I often felt troubled, when the one who calls me dear, still shower concerns..
Like.. hello?
Please get over me, and move on..
It's been years!
And him knowing I don't like him visiting me at my place...
He took an alternative way of 'visiting' me and showing concerns..
M. S. N.
How amazing.. but I can say, it's quite sweet of him.
And not that I don't like those mushy stuffs said..
It's just that, they aren't appropriate, when we are ex-bf/gf...

Well.. Yes.. I've been complaining...
Cos it's just InAppropriate......
Concern. Yes. Thank you.
But mushy things. Inappropriate.

However, I felt.. Wo shi xin fu de.



Was talking to zk..
Actually wanted to help Yeomin ask about diving stuffs and seasports lobangs..
But... talking talking.. topics just didn't end up there..
Paiseh huh, my dear Yeomin.. hehe.. Next time bah..

Yeap.. Busy busy him.. Just reached home from work at about midnight?!
Totally didn't know what I had underwent.
And once known.. hehe.. The usual stuffs came..
Words of concerns, sms of concerns.. and virtual 'sayang'....
Things that he does.. once in a blue moon, I would feel sweet..
But him always doing it.. I would just simply feel overdosed..
See.. Susan's hiam-ing again.. Yah..

But all his doings... I can sense the concerns, like the guy mentioned above..
Thank you.
Thank the two for still showing me concerns and sweetness, despite my choice of leaving..

Although 2's concerns often don't outweigh the 1's negligience..
Thinking over and over..
Today, I concluded.. Wo hai shi xin fu de..
I'm still blissed.. with concerns from such two guys..

And not forgotting all my girl friends..
Sound so heavy color light friend huh? (zhong se qing you)


Thank you all for your kind concerns throughout this painful ordeal...
I will recover and will be back as strong as ever..


Wo shi xin fu de. =)
This blissful feeling... comes right from the bottom of the heart..
This blissful feeling is like a sudden surge of happy feeling....
A feeling of being loved, perhaps..
A feeling of being pampered...
What can I say.. It's a wonderful feeling..
Though I still will say.. I'm still missing a hug..
A hug that tells me that I'm doing fine and all..
A hug of assurance.. That big bear hug...

Labels: Friends, Happy, Love