Weak.

I hate this feeling. WEAK.

If you had realised, yes.. I had been complaining about food and food..
I'm actually became very bad tempered throughout the near 2 weeks stay at home..
I'm really sorry...
But it's probably just the pain and the restricted moves I can do..
I don't know. But I feel so miserable.

Aren't you supposed to feel better as days passed?
Why did I feel so much terrible as compared to last week?


Yesterday I went back to visit my family doc, KP Tan..
It was cos I was about to finish my painkiller-aka-reduce-swelling..

His comments..

Stupid him, at the start...
Kept disturbing me, and ask if the appendix burst...
I was like.. if burst, I won't be so fast to come and see you...
He think abit.. and said.. yah har.. -.-
Funny huh.. I always meet funny people..

My 'battle-scar' looked longer than usual..
His conjecture.. Probably my appendix was hidden behind or what...
They couldn't find it, hence a bigger opening..

My wound is reddish, and swollen still..
I am not supposed to move around that often...
It will worsen the wound..
I didn't even dare to tell him I went out to Orchard the day before..
Indeed it was a daring adventure..
He said if my wound still swollen by Monday..
I should go see him to extend my mc..
But... but.. my lousy company don't recognise...
Sighz.. I shall go back to work and limp around...

Lastly, I asked about abstinence for food..
My mum said.. No chicken No egg?!
He exclaimed, how to have nutrition?!
My mum said.. No rice, cos too hard?!
He said.. Nonsense..
Then I said.. "You say one har.. I go back and tell my mum."
He was like.. scully my mum go and find him about it on the next day..
*lol*
I happily went home, telling my mum in the kitchen about this..
And next thing, I had an egg in my minced meat porridge..
It's like victory after a week plus...



It's so frustrating..
Aren't you supposed to get better as days passed?
I did I feel weaker and more pain than last week..
I rather have the barbed-wired stitches than without it now..
So cannot take it..


Today, I made my record..
Before dinner, I felt so giddy...
And from those who saw my face...
Like my bro1 and da sao..
They commented that my face was as pale as a piece of paper.. White..
Scary. I refused to even go to any mirror to check it out..

And standing up from sitting down on the floor, made be giddy as well..
Feeling helpless..
Painful. helpless..
So worried that little nephew will accidentally press on my wound and kill me for pain..
Feeling so useless..
I could only walk him to and fro within the house..


Don't understand where did the giddy-ness come about..
Everyone asking if I had slimmed down..
My face probably became sharper...
And I thought, my face was just the last place to gain fats and the first place to lose fats..
That's why...
Other than that.. I felt no indifference..
Except for my swollen right tummy.
I felt like a pregnant lady when I was thinking of what to wear..

Sighz.
Giddy-ness..
Was it cos of the surgery? Or was it caused by the impact in end September?
If it was caused by the surgery.. does it mean that I'm not recovering...
I hope of no infection and no complications.
I wonder if that day at Orchard, Joo kept asking if I felt cold..
Probably I was just too focused on walking and preventing myself from more pain..
Or maybe pain gave me warmth?
Nonsense, right?

Ok. I shan't think more.
But to rest. It was a sleepless night last night.
This painful episode.
Probably gonna be a wake-up call for some things..


Nitez to all.
Hope I gain more of the flesh/blood color on my face..
Nitez...

Labels: Pain, Rantings, Sick