My Grandma...

She was still fine yesterday...
She was still fine this morning...
She woke up at 630, and asked the maid to help her to the toilet..
But at 730, when the maid tried to wake her up for breakfast..
She was icy cold, and never opened her eyes again...


At the age of 93...
A daily routine was interrupted.
Today, my grandma finally stopped waking up for her breakfast..
There she lies, ever so peacefully...
Her whole body lost the warmth she used to have...
Her smile.. was no longer there...


I missed her smile...
I missed her holding tight to my hands, and bringing them to her lips to kiss...
Looking at her, I felt she is and will always be my pretty grandma..


Looking around the flat...
I missed the times when grandpa and grandma were still around, and healthy..
Those days, upon their birthdays, we will always have tables in the flat..
Like those kopitiam round tables and a sumptuous feast was served..
When I was young, I used to always make birthday cards for my grandpa and grandma..
Or Happy Mother's Day card...

That big heavy dining table.. approximately 1.6-1.7 metres long..
I wonder how it ever ended up in that 4th floor, without lift access..
It was always a fantastic feeling when all of us sit around the table for a meal..

Most of the things in the flat, are made by my grandpa...
Their beds, their marble floor, the tiled entrance to the kitchen..
The heavy and long lasting wooden furniture in the kitchen...
Maybe their wardrobe was also my grandpa's craft?!
Isn't my grandpa wonderful?!


I'm sad. I'm upset.
But I'm really glad that my grandma passed away peacefully.
I mean what else can we ask for??

I have yet teared or cried in front of anyone..
Whenever I feel that tinge of sadness...
I think of my own mother..
Laughters is contagious, so does sadness...
I have not yet seen tears from my mum..
Except for a quiet moment with my dad outside the flat...

I must be strong, and do whatever I can if my help is needed.

Upset and all..
No words can help, but just hugs can make me feel better..
Thanks for the virtual hug, hug tight tight...
I can really feel it, and feel the warmth in my heart...
I'm already feeling better..
I probably will have a better sleep now..

Labels: Family, Goodbye, Upset