Wednesday, March 05, 2008

Bullet Train. Stressful.

Title: Bullet Train.
Topic: zk
Time: BackDated.

I think I did sort of made the right decision.
Talking things out..
I realised there's really vast differences in personalities.

I'm so freaked out ok?!
Like since last year August, till like now..
I count.. 10 dates?
And the phrase "I Love You" is the least expected.
I really don't believe that love word to be so easily said..
At least I remembered it took Daryl near to 1+ years or more?
To even said that very once.. but kinda late, cos I've decided to move on then already..

To say "I Love You"...
I felt at the very least, understanding of each other's character, thinking, behaviour..
And next, will be the feeling department.
Ok. I just simply got freaked out last night.
I suddenly felt he's like another sticky sticky...
Thankfully for one thing, he only sms like at most 2-3 sms per day..
Good morning, Hope you enjoy your lunch, Hope you'll have a good rest after a whole day's work.
Not like sticky sticky..
Endless phonecalls, SMSes that say "Can we just be friends?"


Erm..
Anyway, I was and still am, freaked out ok?!


I simply understand that given my type of character, and stuffs..
Like what my maid told me..
Yah.. Even with or without someone in my life now.. I will not at all end up with zk..

It's like an re-enactment of sticky sticky..
My worst nightmare in my life, where I stopped trying too hard in the relationship department..
Can you imagine coming to your door at 5am, grabbing your wrist so tightly..
Like your wrist can break type?
And just to ask a question... Can we be friends?

And the Die Die wanna send me home attitude..
Even though I wanted a slow way home like taking bus..
And more stupidly, he stay in the west, I'm in the northeast..
Can't we just part, and give each other a call or what when we reached home?
I think I really have little time to myself, walking home or what..



Let me count..
Date 1: August. Dinner date @ Cartel, Raffles Place Shopping Centre - home.
Date 2: August. Zouk clubbing - home.
Date 3: August. Dinner @ Earl's, subsidery of Swensen's, Vivo - Movie @GVmax - home.
Date 4: August. Dinner @ I can't recall, probably some good food in Orchard - Movie@Lido - home
Date 5: Sept. Dinner @ the Pizza Place, Raffles Place SC B1 - home.
Date 6: Xmas' Eve. Dinner I didn't eat - Go his friend's place @ Yio Chu Kang - home
Date 7: New Yr's Eve. Dinner at Shun Kushiya, Suntec - Movie @ Vivo - home
Date 8: Jan. His birthday celebrations at BullFrog - Stayover his place, and vomitted on his floor. So tad glam.
Date 8.5: Jan. Not really a date, continued from Date 8's celebration. Just to meet him up to pass his pressie, a pair of ear studs. What a pressie for a guy, right? Haha..
Date 9: Jan. Meet him - Wait for him to cut hair - Stayover and I just hate the way I had to get out of the house. PISSED. - brekkie, home.
Date 10: Jan. Very same day as Date 9. Dinner @ Timbre, Parliament House. - Home.

Ok. That's really 10 dates in total.

It's kind of freaky.
Like every attempts of dates, will led an additional question...
A treat to stayover his place... EVERYTIME...
Like as if I know him for ages..
Yah.. 7 months, but meet only 10 times. How close can anyone be?
It feels like another 7 months down the road, another 10-20 times, we are like gonna discussed about saving up for flat instalments or what already..

It's like a bullet train, and it's so stressful..
Like it's all up to his own will and interpretations of things...
I feel weak and no control.. which is why, I find I need to get out of this once again..
And I guess this time, out of it twice and for all..
Erh.. And I don't know why and when, and again his own interpretations again..
That we were seemingly 'patched back' in Jan?
How to possibly just back together, when I already said I have my own issues...
And he's probably simply not bothered by what my issues are... Exasperated.
How to talk to people who don't understand what I say?! *Vomit blood*





I think I still prefer life as it is now..
Busy with work..
And the kind of lay-back, relax, free & easy kinda relationship...
Not having the need to be stucked to my hp everyday to sms.. or phonecalls (like sticky's case)...
Chauffeuring and reverse-chauffeuring.. hehe..

Jumping around different gangs of friends every day, every week..
When everyone in any particular group says..
"It seems ages I met you, how have you been?"
I found myself not asking such questions, but able to answer them instead...
Like I can do a one-man show of introducing everyone in the group..
Of course it applies not to every group..
Cos one day only have 24 hours..
I can't possibly meet so many one-to-one so often..
But I guess one good thing about MSN.. I do crap with them to keep connected!


Hmm.. 2 more weeks... to a month..
This was what me and my boss forsee of this program we are handling with...
Probably a month later, all the toolings in this program will just be passed to sales side fully..
And I believe he would give me another treat by then? hehe..

Time to exercise!

HEY-SHO.. HEY-SHO.. HEY-SHO...

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sugary sweet savouring @ 10:53 PM |



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