I Live My Life For You.............

A moody Sunday.. Moody blog...

Weeks after weeks..
Time flew so quickly this year..
Some say when you are happy, time passed fast..

Every Sunday...
I felt I'm back to square one.
I live my life just like that.
Should I live by time.. and just blindly follow all things around me?
Living life to the fullest.. have a meaningful life?
What is life to the fullest? What is meaningful?

Every Sunday..
I felt I wasn't any better than the previous Sunday.
I'm still me..
I'm still have no plans in life..
I still can't find any tasks or things that can be felt as fulfilling...
On the contradictory..
It was those few years from 02-05 or so..
When I was living my life in the rut...
That I found myself high on confidence, firm in decisions, and what I deemed as capable.
Now.. I'm just rubbish...

I live my life fulfilling tasks for others..
Study for the sake of my parents.. I simply HATE engineering..
Now, it's just a norm thing to go into work...
And at work, my only purpose is to prove myself to my boss, my capability..
But at times, I felt that.. my boss isn't that great afterall...
And he's just about to be like all the other dept heads..
We are in some sort of service line too..
Things that are deemed 'too troublesome', he just want to anyhow do.. and claim 'can't be done'..
No effort. Not something I would like to learn from him.
Anything I does at home, is just to try to please my family, do according to their wishes...
Anything I does at work, is just to please my boss.. just do according to his wishes...
Anything I does.. is just meant to please...

I'm not an angel...
But I'm too used to just doing to please..
Now, I'm lack of motivation to recognise anything that I will feel fulfilling...
Cos I'm too used to just work up to others' standards..
What's my standards? I feel frustrated.


I Live My Life For You..............

I'm easy on anything...
Cos I don't have any standards....
And I already reckoned the fact that in this world, any character or habits.. Worst, and Best..
They all exist..
And it's a matter of choice, and a level of acceptance to such people...
Life goes on..
No matter what happens..
No matter how many people died.. How many new-born each day..
Life goes on...
Happiness, unhappiness.. Anger, depression..
All is just a cycle..
What's the point of living?



I Live My Life For You...

Will I find my life soon?

Labels: Me, Random thoughts